Episode Audio Clips


Below are high quality audio caps from this episode presented in mp3 format. Please let us know if we've missed a favorite quote of yours from this episode and we'll try and add it!  Many thanks to Björn Jentsch for these files!
Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 41209.2: We are running at Warp 7 to rendezvous with the science vessel S.S. Tsiolkovsky, which has been routinely monitoring the collapse of a red super giant star into a white dwarf. What has brought us here is a series of strange messages indicating something has gone wrong aboard the research vessel."
Tsiolkovsky crewmember: "Well hello Enterprise, welcome! I hope you have a lot of pretty boys on board, because I'm willing - and waiting. In fact we're going to have a real blow-out here."
Data: "Indications of what humans would call a wild party?"
Riker: "Yeah. Their bridge. If this thing works be sure to record everything."
Riker: "You were right, someone blew out the hatch. They were all sucked out into space."
Data: "Correction, Sir. That's 'blown out'."
Riker: "Thank you, Data."
Data: "A common mistake, Sir."
Picard: "Captain's log, supplemental: We are downloading the research information gathered on the collapsing star nearby. I am concerned at being in such close orbit, but the Tsiolkovsky's research records will no doubt predict the time of the star's final collapse."
Crusher: "If you were any more perfect, Data, I'd have to write you up in a Starfleet Medical Textbook"
Data: "I am already listed in several bio-mechanical texts, Doctor."
Crusher: "Yes, of course."
Riker: "Data! I need help in locating some library computer information."
Data: "Specific, Sir?"
Riker: "All I have is a vague memory of reading somewhere about someone taking a shower in his or her clothing."
Data: "Ah! The body Geordie discovered!"
Riker: "I believe it may have happened before."
Data: "To someone, somewhere."
Riker: "This ought to be easy for someone written up in bio-mechanical texts."
Picard: "Attention all decks, all divisions: Effective immediately, I have handed over control of this vessel to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher."
Picard: "'Acting Captain'?"
Wesley: "Thank you, Captain Picard, thank you. And with that order dawns a brave new day for the Enterprise."
Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 41209.3: The strange contaminant that led to the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew is now aboard the Enterprise. And our engineering section has been commandeered by young Wesley Crusher."
Data: "There was a rather peculiar limerick being delivered by someone in the shuttlecraft bay. I am not sure I understand it: 'There was a young lady from Venus, whose body was shaped like a..."
Picard: "Captain to security, come in!"
Data: "Did I say something wrong?"
Worf: "I don't understand their humor, either."
Data: "Captain Picard ordered me to escort you to sickbay, Lieutenant."
Yar: "Did he say when?"
Data: "I'm sure he meant now. So you should get into uniform."
Yar: "But I got OUT of my uniform for you, Data. Do you know how old I was when I was abandoned?"
Data: "Chronological age? No, I am afraid I am not familiar with..."
Yar: "Five. Five years old, but I survived. I learned how to stay alive, how to avoid the rape gangs. I was fifteen before I escaped."
Data: "I am sorry. I did not know..."
Yar: "And what I want now is gentleness. And joy. And love. From you, Data. You are fully functional, aren't you?"
Data: "Of course, but..."
Yar: "How fully?"
Data: "In every way, of course. I am programmed in multiple techniques, a broad variety of pleasuring..."
Yar: "Oh, you jewel, that's exactly what I hoped!"
Picard: "Captain's log, supplemental: It is no longer an inconvenient childish prank. Young wesley Crusher, admittedly a victim of the Tsiolkovsky infection, is now in control of my starship."
Picard: "Ah, good, Data! At least you're functioning."
Data: "Fully, Captain."
Picard: "Data, intoxication is a human condition. Your brain is different. It's not the same as..."
Data: "We are more alike than unlike, my dear Captain. I have pores, humans have pores. I have fingerprints, humans have fingerprints. My chemical nutrients are like your blood. If you prick me, do I not ... leak?"
Picard: "Worf, you know what to do. Take us uh . . . "
Riker: "Take us out of here!"
Picard: "Right."
Engineer: "Bridge from engineering."
Riker: "The star is still collapsing!"
Riker: "We're directly in the path . . . "
Engineer: "I can't help you, bridge. Someone here has yanked out all the control chips."
Wesley: "It was an adult who did it!"
Riker: "Ship's log, First Officer Riker: Enterprise will be destroyed unless it can be moved out of the path of a star material hurtled toward us. Our only hope is for Lieutenant Commander Data in the time we have left to regain his senses and reconnect engine power to the bridge."
LaForge: "Captain! Something seemed to move us aside at the last minute."
Worf: "Do we owe our thanks to Commander Data, Sir?"
Picard [via intercomm]: "Yes, and Wesley may have given us a few seconds, too."
Worf: "Did he say 'Wesley'? The boy?"
Crusher: "He said 'wesley'."
Yar: "Data, I'm only going to tell you this just once: It never happened."
Picard: "I put it to you all: I think we shall end up with a fine crew...if we avoid temptation."