Episode Audio Clips


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Picard: "Captain's Log, Stardate 41386.4. We're in pursuit of a starship of Ferengi design. Our mission is to intercept - and recover a T-9 energy converter which the Ferengi stole from an unmanned monitor post on Gamma Tauri IV, a theft which automatic scanners recorded - providing us with the long awaited opportunity to make close contact with a Ferengi vessel. If we succeed in this chase, it will be Starfleet's first look at a lifeform which discounting rumor, we know almost nothing about."
Yar: "Sensors record fluctuations in the energy readings from it, Captain."
Data: "Possibility - a malfunction in their engines, sir."
LaForge: "Breaks my heart."
Picard: "Data, do you have any information touching this on any file?"
Data: "None, sir. Only hearsay and third hand reports, most of which conflict."
Riker: "Which reports do not conflict?"
Data: "That the Ferengi are ... well, the best description may be 'traders'."
Picard: "What kind of traders?"
Data: "A comparison modern scholars have drawn from Earth history likens the Ferengi to the ocean-going Yankee traders of eighteenth and nineteenth century America, sir."
Riker: "From the history of my forebears. Yankee traders."
Data: "Who in this case sail the galaxy in search of mercantile and territorial opportunity."
Riker: "And are those scholars saying the Ferengi may not unlike us?"
Data: "Hardly, sir. I believe this analogy refers to the worst quality of capitalists. The Ferengi are believed to conduct their affairs of commerce on the ancient principle caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware."
Riker: "Yankee traders. I like the sound of that."
Data: "Well, sir, I doubt they wear red, white and blue, or look anything like Uncle Sam."
Picard: "Engineering? Join La Forge down below in Engineering, Number One."
Riker: "Aye, sir."
Picard: "Without warp capacity, we're just a floating target."
Worf: "Uncle who?!"
Yar: "What have bright, primary colors got to do with it?"
Picard: "Well, I understand the allusion. Colors representing countries at a time when they competed with each other. Red, white and blue for the United States; whereas the French, more properly, used the same colors in the order blue, white and red."
Data: "And the German nation - red, black and gold; the Italians green, white and red; the British..."
Picard: "...that's enough, Data."
Data: "It was you who..."
Picard: "...we were discussing the Ferengi!"
Riker: "What's our acceleration delay between slow reverse impulse and top warp speed?"
LaForge: "ah, that's point three-hundred millisecond, there's... ah, I see where you're going! We shift down and kick hard into warp nine! Yeah! Come back fighting! Wooey!"
Riker: "Can we do it, Geordi?"
LaForge: "Ask me after it's done sir. I want a slow reverse engine drop off in five-minutes. We'll show them what this baby can do, sir."
Riker: "Give me everything you've got, LaForge!"
LaForge: "Aye, aye sir."
Picard: "I wish I knew what they were thinking over there."
Riker: "They're wondering what we're going to do next."
Worf: "I say fight, sir. There's nothing shameful about falling before a superior enemy."
Picard: "And nothing shameful in a strategic retreat either."
Picard: "Lieutenant Yar, open hailing frequencies."
Yar: "Hailing frequencies open sir."
Picard: "At least we won't begin with weakness. Attention, Ferengi starship. This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. In the name of the United Federation of Planets I demand that you return the T9 energy converter you have removed from Gamma Tauri IV. Send that in all language forms."
Yar: "All language forms, sir."
Picard: "Sometimes Riker, the best way to fight is not to be there."
Riker: "Yes, sir; "he will triumph who knows when to fight... and when not to fight".
Picard: "Glad that Academy's still teaching the strategies of Tsun-Tsu. This delay had better prove out, LaForge."
LaForge: "Point three hundred milliseconds, sir."
Picard: "So, while we still have some power left, it is time for difficult decisions. Opinions please."
Yar: "I say put all available power into a full-out combined phaser and photon torpedo salvo. Destroy their ability to sustain this forcefield, sir."
Worf: "Yes! Hit them hard and hit them fast."
Picard: "Impractical and provocative. Even assuming that we have
the power to sustain such a tactic."
Yar: "But Captain, isn't firing on us an act of war?"
Troi: "The facts are the Ferengis did fire at us, but we were chasing them. Since then, all they've done is searched our computers, trying to learn who and what we are."
Picard: "Your point, Counselor?"
Troi: "Let's talk to them."
Picard: "That has been tried; no response."
Troi: "But did we tell them anything they wanted to hear?"
Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 41386.5. It is with a heavy heart that I have offered to meet whatever reasonable and necessary terms are demanded by the Ferengi. I fear for my people and my vessel in the event the unknown Ferengi ask the unreasonable. How can I oppose even unreasonable demands?"
Picard: "You should be able to view us now. Are we on your screen?"
Taar: "Yes. The ugliness of the hu-mon was not an exaggeration. I do not know how your twisted alien culture has paralyzed our vessel but I concede your 'Enterprise' is superior. We will return your worthless T-9 device and we offer the lives of our second officers as required by the Ferengi code."
Data: "Fortunately, Starfleet has no such rules involving its' second officers."
Picard: "I've never heard the word "Tkon" before."
Data: "Understandable. It has been extinct for six hundred thousand of our... of our years. These planets were once outposts of that empire..."
Picard: "Data. What are you doing?"
Data: "Apologies, Captain. I seem to have reached an odd functional impass. I am, ah... stuck."
Picard: "Then get unstuck and continue with the briefing."
Data: "Yes, sir. That is what I am trying to do sir... but the solution eludes me."
Geordi: (laughs) "My hero."
Picard: "Continue, Commander."
Data: "Intriguing. It is.. hmm."
Picard: "Captain's log, supplemental. In orbit of a mysterious planet whose unexplained forcefield has seized us with a power almost beyond imagination. If there is a solution to this, it almost certainly will involve cooperation from the Ferengi."
Picard: "Perhaps you would agree to a more productive relationship?"
Taar: "I prefer a more profitable one, hu-man."
Data: "Yankee Traders."
Taar: "Explain what mean "yangkeetraters"?"
LaForge: "He heard that"
: "It recognises your interest in profit. Or is that an incorrect
Taar: "We seek only what is equitable. What do you seek? Why did you begin by attacking us?"
Picard: "We did not attack you. We gave chase in order to recover a Federation-owned energy device which..."
Taar: "Which we know is ours. Your barbarous Federation placed it on one of our planets!"
Picard: "On the contrary, Gamma Tauri Four is recognised by all civilised members of..."
: "The Ferengi are not uncivilized, hu-man! Are you suggesting otherwise?"
Riker: "What do you make of these?"
Data: "Crystalline, mostly inert. "Nothing to write home about.""
Riker: "Excuse me?"
Data: "Slang, sir. I did use it correctly, did I not?"
Picard: "Captain's log, supplemental. It is now six hours since our away team beamed down to the planet surface. On the Enterprise our condition is rapidly worsening. Ordinarily, with reserve power alone, we could maintain life support for several months. But the force holding us has closed down all engines and is draining our reserve power too."
Mordoc: "Is this a female?"
Kayron: "A hew-mon... female, Letek?"
Letek: "Then it is true. You work with your females, arm them, and force them to wear clothing?"
Mordoc: "Sickening."
Picard: "Where's Wesley?"
Crusher: "He's in our quarters. I was tempted to give him a sedative."
Picard: "You shouldn't."
Crusher: "I know, but he's my son, I love him."
Picard: "He has the right to meet death awake."
Crusher: "Is that a male perspective?"
Picard: "Rubbish."
Letek: "They adorn themselves with gold, a despicable use of the valuable metal. And they shamelessly clothe their females..."
Mordoc: "...Inviting others to unclothe them, the very depth of perversion."
Yar: "Paws off, Ferengi."
Mordoc: "No female, hew-mon or Ferengi, can order Mordoc around! Submit!"
Yar: "Just try it, shorty."
Riker: "At ease, Lieutenant!"
Crusher: "Not a moment too soon, Jean... I mean Captain."
Picard: "You've done well."
Data: "Something to write home about."
LaForge: ""Something to write home about?" Data, that's very human."
Riker: "The T-9 energy converter has been beamed aboard and secured, sir. The Ferengi complained bitterly but one final roar from Portal convinced them."
Picard: "I commend your performance, Number One."
Riker: "One final request, sir... Permission to beam a box of Data's Chinese finger puzzles over to the Ferengi. A "thank you" for all they tried to do."
Picard: "Make it so. Set course LaForge."